Hello Stranger.

So I haven't posted in FOREVER, I sincerely apologize, been kind of busy raising a baby! So much has happened in our life in the last few months.

In May, when Raiden was just 6 weeks old we had quite a scare. For 2 weeks he had started to spit up large quantities, well that is what everyone was telling me it was - spit up. I kept saying he was throwing up because there was just so much of it with every feeding. 2 doctors and a nurse practitioner kept reassuring me that it was just reflux and that he was fine and to make his feedings shorter. Well on the day of May 4th I was fed up, the husband and I went to go eat brunch with our little man, and during brunch I had to change him twice and used 3 spit up rags because of his "spit up" - following brunch the husband went to work and I went to my parents. It was there that I held him as he slept and he would throw up every 15 minutes or so from feeding to feeding. Around 4PM I noted that he had only had 2 barely wet diapers all day and so I called our doctors after hours hotline and our ped's partner answered and told me to take him to the ER because my concern of dehydration was very real. I picked up Mr. W on our way to the hospital and they got us in a room quickly, unfortunately things slowed down after that. The ER doctor insisted he was just dehydrated and needed some pedialyte, which was frustrating because I told him very firmly that Raiden couldn't keep ANYTHING down, it wasn't like I was not trying to hydrate him - nor did I see him again after he instructed us that he just needed hydration (probably because he was embarrassed!). Raiden wouldn't take the pedialyte and the nurse said to just nurse, I didn't want to because at this point I think it hurt Raiden when he threw up and I knew it would happen. But they insisted so we nursed and within 5 minutes he was vomiting it back up. At this point we were left alone for quite awhile, and it was during this time that I could hear the nurses in the hallway discussing that it was just spit up and it was normal and I was just a paranoid first time mom, which just infuriated me as they went on and on... Then the ped doctor who had instructed me to come to the ER in the first place came in, and he was our saving grace - it feels like everything went super fast after that but all in all we were in the ER for about 9 hours before we left. He listened to what was going on and said he had 2 concerns that it was either reflux or pyloric stenosis. He ordered a ultrasound and while we waited he tried to put an IV in Raiden's hands. He was so severely dehydrated though his veins were super tiny and they couldn't get one in and blew the veins in his hands. Then they sent us to the ultrasound. Every 4-5 minutes we had to stop the ultrasound to roll him on his side so he could vomit, twice we had to pick him up and clear his airways cause he was choking. It was clear that his condition worsened significantly that day and no one was telling me it was just spit up anymore. His pyloric sphincter was only suppose to be 6-7cm and his was 16... in other words the muscle that allows processed food from the stomach to the digestive system kept growing after birth and had grown so large it had sealed off the digestive system from the stomach so the only place for food to go once it was in the stomach and broken down was right back up and he was literally starving to death, surgery was required - I called my mom in the hallway sobbing and she & my sister rushed to the hospital to be there with us and my father in law came as well... I was inconsolable. So we went back to our room and there were 3 nurses waiting to try and get an IV in Raiden's arm. Seeing your little one at just 6 weeks being held down as they put a needle in him and tried to get it into a vein is one of the hardest things to watch and endure. I had to leave the room several times because I was in tears at watching him in so much pain and not understanding what was happening and my father in law and mother stayed in there with him.

Eventually they got the IV in and wrapped and we were told that we were going to be taking an ambulance ride to a town 2 hours away that had a pediatric surgeon waiting to perform surgery on our little baby boy. Mr. W went home to pack bags and Raiden and I waited for the ambulance. I rode in the ambulance with Raiden in his car seat strapped to a bed and Mr. W drove behind us up to the town 2 hours away. We got to the hospital at around 6AM, my little man did so good and slept the whole way. Once we got there he woke up horribly upset and it took a good 45 minutes to calm him down and get him back to sleep and at that point the husband and I were able to get about 2 hours of sleep before they came and woke us up for surgery. I carried my little boy to another room where they were doing the paperwork for the surgery and I had to hand him to a nurse as I signed papers to let them put him under and all that jazz. I was an emotional wreck. We kissed him and they took him off to surgery where they cut a one inch incision in his tummy to cut his pyloric sphincter. The surgery took about an hour before they brought him back to his room. Seeing him lay there moaning was heartbreaking, but I was so thankful that the surgery was successful.

Raiden in recovery

From there we waited a couple hours and then had to bottle feed him 40cc of pedialyte, couple more hours we did 40cc of pedialyte 20cc pumped breastmilk, couple more hours it was 30cc pedialyte 30cc pumped milk, couple hours later 20cc pedialyte 40cc pumped milk, and a couple hours later we were able to do 60cc of pumped breastmilk - he threw it up within 20 minutes, but the nurses reassured us that probably had to do with the thickness of breastmilk and so we attemped another 60cc of breastmilk a couple hours later and he successfully kept it down. Thru the next day every 2 hours he would get 60cc of breastmilk. Towards late morning we were so happy because he was starting to get very angry that he was only getting 60cc of pumped milk, he was expressing the want to nurse and he wanted a lot more then 60cc and we were given the go ahead to nurse and boy did he go to town! We were released that day.

The day we got to go home, 5/6/13

Going home outfit from the hospital!

You wouldn't have even known he had a life threatening issue 2 days later, he was eating up a storm and as alert and active. I can't tell you the relief I felt.

So that was the first part of May, then on May 14 my husband was offered his own store and we found out we would be moving to Oklahoma and we had to be there with a place to live confirmed by June 2. So we found a cute cottage home on Craigslist of all places and on June 1 we packed up our little family and made the 2 day drive to our new home in Oklahoma.

So as you can see a lot of changes in our household. I will go into further detail later. But that is enough for one sitting. I have a kiddo to attend to!

Introductions

Well, it's been over a week since our little man entered the world and I really wanted to find the time to take and to write out our birth story before it get's any blurrier then it already has. So without further ado...

Our birth plan went completely out the window. Seriously, pretty much none of it went as anticipated or hoped for but when all is said and done I am still perfectly happy with our labor and delivery, even if it wasn't the textbook natural birth with the soft music in the background and serenity that I might of been planning on.

We went to the hospital Monday morning at about 5AM, we were running late and I think both of us were a bundle of nerves about what to anticipate that day. We arrived to labor and delivery to be admitted. Our first nurse was Christine, she was super nice, only problem was even after I warned her of my small rolling veins she insisted on taking a IV needle to my hand and dig around for about 10 minutes before going and getting another nurse with more experience. We ran into the same problem when it came to draw blood and it took 3 nurses to find a viable vein to draw from. They checked my dilation and I was 2 cm and 85-95% effancement. It wasn't until 7 that the pitocin was started at 2ml an hour, but 7 happened to be the nurse shift change so the 2ml was bumped to 4ml within maybe 5 minutes. This is where it got boring to me, waiting for contractions to start. I waited and waited and felt nothing, so in boredom I grabbed my makeup bag and proceeded to do my makeup and hair. Then I sat there texting away waiting to feel anything. The nurses would come in about every 15 - 30 minutes and ask if I felt anything and I would say no and then they would proceed to bump up the pitocin by 2ml. It was just before 9 when the nurse came in and suggested I roll over to my left side and the pitocin was pushed to 10ml an hour. Within minutes I felt my first labor contraction, the best way to explain it was just a really heavy menstrual cramp that came and went. by 9:15 I was having these heavy cramps were 2 minutes apart for about 47 seconds at a time. At first it really wasn't that bad. I held Mr. W's hand as they reached peaks and he would talk me through them. They had checked my dilation and I was at about 3 - 3 1/2 cm and had thinned out little. I hated the cervical check, it was worse then the contractions at that point. Within an hour my contractions went from heavy menstrual cramps to much being much more intense, I was still joking and talking in between contractions though and able to work through them as Mr. W counted down the last 10 seconds of each one for me. They would do cervical checks every hour, unfortunately TWICE because there was a nursing student there that had to do it as well. I went from 3cm to 5 cm in an hour, then 5cm to 8 - It was that time of the rapid increase of 5 to 8 that I started asking Mr. W if he would be disappointed in me if I used pain medication. I was gripping the rails and asking Mr. W not to touch me as politely as possible... I was just trying to work through it by myself in silence. The pain was excruciating but I was so committed in not using an epidural that I asked the nurse what other pain management I could use and they suggested demoral. I agreed to take the demoral to take the edge off and they brought a bag and connected it to my IV, one contraction in I realized I needed more then just the edge taken off and asked my husband for the epidural as the contraction was peaking, with my breathing I would take my big inhale and exhale the word 'epidural' to him. He called the nursing station and let them know I wanted the epidural, of course it was my luck that the anesthesiologist was about to head into a c-section and she was going to try to get to me before the surgery. Yeah, that didn't happen so they told me I had a good hour and a half that I had to get through before she would be available. At this point the dang small amount of demoral I had received had kicked in and I started falling asleep in between my contractions. They slowed the pitocin down significantly to ease the pain but at that point I was too far gone. I had another cervical check and I was at 9cm and the urge to push was vaguely starting to happen during each contraction. I didn't want to tell them because I was afraid that doing so would mean I couldn't get an epidural and I was sure I could resist the urge, but of course it was pretty evident where I was at in labor. I knew they were thinking i probably wouldn't be able to get the epidural come 1PM because I was 9cm and the anesthesiologist was still out, but thank GOD that close to 2 they said those magical words, she was here. They asked if I was able to stay still while they put the epidural in, sane Randi would have said no because these contractions felt like someone was ripping out my intestines, but desperate pain stricken Randi said I would figure out a way. I had 8 off the chart contractions while they were putting the epidural in I grasped on to Mr, W's hands and stared straight into his eyes to focus on remaining still - I still don't know how I did it considering my contractions were less then a minute apart and were one on top of the other. Once the epidural was in I felt about 10 more contractions before everything went numb from the waist down. From that point forward I would consider the rest of labor to be pretty pleasant. The two nurses and Mr. W coached me through about an hour of pushing and holding my legs up. The pushing was weird because I honestly didn't feel anything and I was never quite sure if I was pushing, I just kept focusing on pushing with my abdomen and from all the "Good Jobs!" and "You're doing great  each time I pushed I figure I did it somehow, at one point they said that I had birthed his hair, I was confused and then they had me reach down and feel the top of his head and all that hair - it was surreal to say the least. Then the OBGYN came and finished the job with some more instructing of pushing and a small episiotomy. When researching labor and delivery the thought of an episiotomy scared the hell out of me but looking back I know it was either going to be an episiotomy or a tear. It was shortly after that small incision that my little man came into the world. It was crazy to see my stomach deflate as the doctor pulled him out and there he was, I didn't expect to cry but the tears came flowing the second I put eyes on him, with a quick wipe down from the doctor's hands to the nurse in just a couple seconds my son was placed on my chest and I just stared in awe. I will never be able to accurately explain the feelings and emotions that swirled through me in that moment.

And then there were 3...

Introducing Raiden Jensen Williams, 

he came in to this world on March 25, 2013 at 4:01PM 

weighing 8lb 13oz and measuring 21 1/2 inches long.

Being treated for jaundice 2 days after being released from the hospital

Dear Son,

Dear Son,

I am mere days from meeting you yet I know you so personally, so intimately, holding you for the first time will be as though I am gaining a piece of my that I never knew I was missing. I will cradle you in my arms, sun up and sun down and provide everything I humanly can. We loved you before we knew you even existed, and we have talked to you daily, your daddy gives you kisses on my tummy. We've treated this gift with such care as you grow everyday. It all seemed so surreal to us at first, but as we had our first ultrasound, got to feel the first kick, and then got to physically see you moving within my womb you've become more and more real to us, and now we have just a matter of days before you are in our arms and we start this whole new journey as a family of 3.

I pray for guidance, guidance on raising you to be a good man. You will grow and we will teach to the best of our abilities. We will make mistakes as will you. We will fight and not see eye to eye. You will think you hate us at times, and sometimes we will be so frustrated with you that we won't be able to stand it. I will cry... Lord knows I will cry. I will cry the first time I lay eyes on you, I will cry the first time I see you in pain, I will cry when I can't figure out why you won't quit crying, I will cry your first day of school and your last day of school. I will cry the day you meet "the girl" and will cry when you take her hand in marriage. We will be here to talk to you about life, to cheer you on in the stands, to give a shoulder to cry on, to give a hand to help you up, to give you an ear to listen, to give you advice to take.

I hope and pray that we are able to raise you into a man just as great as your daddy and I hope that you never doubt our unconditional and steadfast love that we have had for you since the moment we knew of your existence. We love you a million times over & we can't wait to meet you.

Your mom.

Week 39

Well here we are with my last weekly update. We are in our last 3 days one way or another. I'll admit it's been a rough few days and I anticipate a rough couple days ahead as well. There is nothing like the weight of a 7+ pound baby on your bladder on top of a UTI. Yup. The two combined equals a world of hurt and misery. There were 2 negative cultures in the course of a week and a half before there was finally a positive UTI culture was found on Monday. I'm on Augmentin now, which I will remain on through Sunday just in time for the scheduled induction! Luckily I am on the mend and feeling much better!

Week 39 has brought with it the blatant and obviousness that I am done with being pregnant. Yup, I am completely over it. I love this little boy and I am ready to be holding him in my arms. Baby W has pretty much 2 1/2 days to decide to come on his own, otherwise we will be induced medically at the hospital on Monday morning.. I am so full of emotions and thoughts in this last week I can't even begin to express everything going on in my head, I am literally days away from meeting this little guy who has been camped out in my tummy for months and months... who started out as nothing but a bunch of cells and a unexpected positive on a pregnancy test and now here we are. Brace yourself world... Baby W is on his way.

How far along are you? 39 Weeks && 4 Days!

Total weight gain? 33lb.

Maternity Clothes? Nope, wearing a lot of sweats or sundresses though thanks to the warm weather!

Stretch Marks? No more... unfortunately no less.

Sleep: This week has sucked thanks to the UTI I was up for hours at a time multiple times a night. Now that I am on the mend though I wake up maybe once a night.

Best Moment Last Week? Just getting another week closer to getting to see my little boy!

Movement: I can tell he wants out as much as I am ready to have him out!

Food Craving: Anything spicy... but that's more of a ploy to go into labor more then a 'craving.'

Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope.

Labor signs? A few contractions here and there. 

Symptoms? Just this big ol' tummy!

Belly button in or out? flat.

Wedding Ring on or off? Keeping it on a necklace still just to be cautious.

Most common emotion? Excited.

Looking forward to? Our baby boy making his appearance any day!

38.

Week 38!

Can anyone really believe we are nearing the end of this journey? That technically I could go in to labor ANY MINUTE!? I sure as hell can't! It feels like this pregnancy has flown by, at least the last trimester - which I am thankful for because it really is true what they say... the third trimester is by far the roughest. Don't get me wrong compared to many women out there my pregnancy has still been pretty Easy Street Ville, but that doesn't hinder the fact that I am pretty uncomfortable. What has taken the biggest beating? My bladder! As Baby W continues his decent into the pelvic region this little guy has added extra pressure to everything down there. I can't stand or walk without the need to know where the nearest lady's room is. That has by far been the most frustrating and uncomfortable of all that I have faced during this pregnancy. I have no tolerance for it. So it's been suggested that I get a lot more rest, lay down more and get pressure off my lady bits for some relief which I gladly do.

In other news we are 2 days away from our 38 week doctor visit, unfortunately my doctor is out of town however his nurse practitioner will be seeing me and doing a membrane sweep to try to induce labor. I didn't even know what a membrane sweep was until I was in my third trimester and googled 'inducing labor' and it was one of the many things that popped up. Membrane sweeps are performed by your doctor (or in this case my nurse practitioner) during an internal examination, they sweep their finger around your cervix which separates the membranes of the amniotic sac surrounding the baby from the cervix which releases a hormone that can induce labor. Membrane sweeps don't always work but they do have the potential to. I have my fingers crossed that this sweep or the one at 39 weeks is effective because as we all know I don't want to be induced with pitocin on my due date! I'm also trying to walk more, bounce on a yoga ball... and whatever else is suggested that could help Baby W decide to make his appearance early, but I know he is stubborn like his mama and will come whenever he is good and ready and there isn't much I can do to sway him otherwise.

Speaking of being stubborn, I think my hormones might be getting the better of me. I'm learning that at this present time, when it comes to my child... boy oh boy can I hold a grudge like nobody's business. If you've been MIA pretty much my entire pregnancy don't expect me to go out of my way to make you feel involved or to really discuss anything regarding my pregnancy or little family with you, "family," friend, or acquaintance. If you've made no attempt to be involved don't expect me to give you the courtesy of trying to involve you.

I forgot to take a picture today but I will post a quick one in the AM at some point. Is it crazy to think about how this could very well be my last baby bump picture!? On one hand it will be weird to have my stomach begin shrinking back down but on the other I am SO ready to be able to get out of bed without it feeling like a physical chore.

38 weeks 1 day

How far along are you? 38 Weeks!

Total weight gain? 33lb.
Maternity Clothes? Still sporting the same gear.
Stretch Marks? Has stayed the same.
Sleep: Pretty much the same as last week.
Best Moment Last Week? Getting to full term!
Movement: More defined, just cause he is running out of room I can feel every little movement.
Food Craving: Same.
Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope.
Labor signs? He is moving lower into my pelvis. Contractions aren't really happening much.
Symptoms? Having to pee every 15 minutes. Yeah... It's super.
Belly button in or out? flat.
Wedding Ring on or off? I can still put it on but I am keeping it around my neck still in case of sudden swelling.
Most common emotion? Excited.
Looking forward to? Hopefully having this membrane sweep work in a couple days!

Baby W is the size of a Pumpkin!

Due Date Countdown : 13 days!!!

37 Weeks! Full term baby!

There is light at the end of the tunnel! With week 37 here it means that Baby W is considered full term, meaning if Baby W was to want to make his appearance now they wouldn't stop my labor and the chances are high that his lungs are fully developed and will adjust well to life outside the womb. Hard to believe we are at that point already. As much as I have tried to continue to stay upbeat and positive I have to admit that I am getting a little tired of being pregnant, or at least tired of some of the symptoms that seem to plague me. My hips are hurting more and more each day, I swear if I didn't know better I would have thought that I pulled a groin muscle. My right bottom rib aches pretty much on a constant basis. And I get up 2 - 4 times a night to visit the bathroom. All in all I got off pretty easy, I know I could feel miserable and be dealing with a plethora of other symptoms that I have luckily avoided like the severe morning sickness and hemorrhoids so I really shouldn't be complaining. However, at this point I can't imagine getting any bigger then I already have... I feel like my tummy is at maximum capacity.

I had a prenatal massage today. Oh. My. Gosh. Simply heaven, if only for the mere fact I got to lay on my stomach thanks to the special bed pillow they use for us knocked up gals. It was an hour of pure bliss, unfortunately the second I stood up from my massage my body made it perfectly clear that 'Hey, you're 9 months pregnant you didn't think that the relaxation and comfort was going to last past this comfy bed, oils, and unnecessarily calming music that almost made you fall asleep did you!? Hahaha...' Yeah, that's pretty much exactly what my body said to me. But hey... for 60 undisturbed minutes I was happy as a clam. I was also dangerously close to committing a crime and stealing the pregnancy pillow that was applied to the bed that allowed me to lay on my tummy, but I figure I don't want to deliver my baby in the clank so I left the pillow there.

How far along are you? 37 weeks!

Total weight gain? 33lb.
Maternity Clothes? Still sporting the same gear.
Stretch Marks? Just the 2. Dammit. Still slathering on lotion at a ridiculous pace to prevent them getting bigger or getting more heaven forbid!
Sleep: I am waking up 2 - 4 times a night to pee, and I usually take those opportunities to lay back down on alternate sides. I am waking up with pretty severe hip pain now though.
Best Moment Last Week? Our birth month got here!!
Movement: Constant.
Food Craving: Same.
Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope.
Labor signs? Apparently my hip/groin pain is signs that Baby W is getting into position and I am having sporadic light contractions.
Symptoms? Exhaustion and a lot of "down there" pressure.
Belly button in or out? flat.
Wedding Ring on or off? It could be on but just to be safe I wear it around my neck now.
Most common emotion? Impatient for his arrival.
Looking forward to? Thursday. Here is hoping I am further dilated! It's Operation Get this Baby Out time now!

20 Days till our Due Date / Induction Date!

Week 36!

Well here we are, our last week before Baby W is considered full term! We are 29 days away from our estimated due date of March 25th! This pregnancy has been a pretty easy one thankfully (knock on wood!) and I've really enjoyed every minute of it - About 2 days ago or so though it started to kick in, as Baby W is running out of room I find his foot lodged into my rib cage on a pretty regular basis. He is starting to pack on about an ounce a day of weight and is close to 6 pounds now roughly according to the standard growth pace at 36 weeks. With that comes extra pelvic pressure, bladder pressure, and severe lower back pain. Yup, at 36 weeks I can officially say I am pretty uncomfortable on a regular basis. At this point doing anything has become a chore of great magnitude. At our last doctor appointment they did the oh so fun Strep B test and then the doctor checked for dilation of my cervix. He was disappointed to find that I had only dilated to 1cm and he was wanting that dilation to be a 2 or 3cm. So I was put on orders to be more active and do more walking and activities... a far cry from the week before and being told to rest more and get that blood pressure down, but considering my blood pressure when back down to 128/85 they seem less concerned with my blood pressure.

Last night was rough, I had my first real stint of nausea occur, of course it was when we were out for dinner and I didn't even get to my entree before I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to go throw my brains up! Then we went home and I rested, my stomach looked like a scene from alien as Baby W was stretching his feet out against my stomach wall making it protrude in all sorts of crazy ways. I swear my kid is already preparing to be a MMA fighter and had me wincing in pain quite a bit. I wouldn't change it for the world though. It is so crazy to to physically see him moving around and boy let me tell you he is super active on a constant basis. It has started making work and minor tasks more and more difficult though. But I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am super thankful to have such a supportive and helpful husband through all of this because I couldn't do it without him!

36weeks3days

How far along are you? 36 weeks today!

Total weight gain? 32.5 lb..
Maternity Clothes? I bought a couple more larger Buckle tops but no additions to the maternity purchases.
Stretch Marks? Seems to not be increasing any. Whew.
Sleep: I wake up about 2 times a night, getting to sleep is starting to be difficult just because of the discomfort.
Best Moment Last Week? We got our crib in this weekend
Movement: Constant.
Food Craving: Same.
Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope.
Labor signs? I am 1cm Dilated. Wah wah.
Symptoms? A lot more movement and lots of lower pressure starting.
Belly button in or out? flat.
Wedding Ring on or off? On, however I am about to start wearing it around my neck because I don't want to risk it getting stuck!
Most common emotion? Anxious for March!
Looking forward to? Next doctor appointment on Wednesday. Here is hoping I am dilated further!!!

Baby W is the size of a honeydew!