Real Life Emoticons.

So I notice today, sitting here on my lunch, that for the last 2 days my emotions are on overdrive and I am not enjoying it. I feel like I am on a roller coaster and I want off! With 45 days until our due date I think I am just starting to really get nervous about everything. What is everything you ask?

• My shower is tomorrow and deep down I am so scared that no one will show up, and with these emotions flying off the handle I can see myself just being completely irrationally devastated by a small turn out.
• I feel completely unprepared for Baby W's arrival. To a degree I am unprepared, but not horribly. There is still enough time to get things done, it just doesn't feel like it and I am getting overwhelmed with the thought of everything left to do. I tried making a To Do list which inevitably set me more into a panic.
• I LOVE being pregnant. Sincerely. Other then these recent whirlwind emotions, this pregnancy has been easy and a real learning experience. That being said... I'm ready to fit back into my old clothes that are all hanging in my closet all nice and small. Dressing around this big tummy and slowly running out of options while refusing to buy more clothes that I will only be wearing for another month has me slightly frustrated. I don't feel all that attractive these days as the couple of stretch marks have appeared and my belly and booty are in a competition of who can grow fastest. I have the dilemma of my husband working at my favorite clothing store and walking in and seeing racks and racks of clothes I want to buy but can't is beyond frustrating.
• I am stressing about my maternity leave, or lack there of. I am scrounging the time I can together and planning on working at home for a time.... but still I feel uneasy about it.
• The discomfort is setting in. As Baby W has started to drop I find myself less and less comfortable. It isn't anything that can't be handled perfectly fine, it's more just irritating more then anything. Sitting at a desk for 8+ hours a day Monday through Friday is becoming more and more difficult. I find any reason to get up and stretch since my son finds it appropriate to put his feet in my rib cage whenever I am sitting at my desk.
• I'm going to be a parent. 
• Labor and delivery. Enough said.

I just feel like I am just one big bottled up ball of anxiety right now. It really wouldn't take much of anything to make me just start crying uncontrollably for no real reason at all. I know it's coming... God willing I will be at home by myself when it occurs. 

I don't know. I think I will just blame my hormones for my current disposition and hope that it passes as quickly as it started.